Extract from 150 terrified townsfolk a wide assortment of tinned foods, making sure to include 3 tins of sardines (for overall delicious aroma).
The yield of this extraction should be around two dozen cans.
Place the contents of these cans willy-nilly and with gay abandon into a four gallon cooking pot. Stir.
Now add umpteen pounds of unwashed potatoes, roughly chopped, a cabbage and an apron full of onions, also roughly chopped.
Pour over all, one gallon of Burketown pre-cyclone town water and bring slowly to the boil. At this stage, hand out nose-pegs to all cooks' offsiders (Remember the sardines)?
When the water is tender, add one tin of strong curry powder, thicken and serve immediately to an accompaniement of 120mph winds and a goodly dash of urgency.
And don't forget to smile.
This recipe was given to me about 30 years ago, by the mother of two children who were home-schooled with the help of "School of the Air".
Light oven, tell children to stop talking.
Get bowl and ingredients. Make space on table by removing rods and counters.
Separate 3 eggs. Beat whites with pinch salt until light, gradually adding 3/4 cup sugar, as well as showing Sally how to do long division.
Add egg yolks one at a time, inbetween making patterns of the tan rod and getting Billy to read them out.
Knead dough for bread and put in tins, smack Billy's hand for making roads on flour board.
Sift dry ingredients (1/2 cup arrowroot, teaspoon plain flour, teaspoon baking powder).
Fold in. Put in lined Swiss Roll tin. Bake in oven for 12 minutes at 350 degrees.
Someone at front gate - investigate - return to kitchen, no kids. Start yelling. Take roll from oven.
Settle Sally and Billy down to school again.
Take 1 young hen - stretch neck.
Remove some feathers for decoration.
Have prepared a goodly-sized hole of white ash and coals.
Place bird on same, and cover with green boughs.
Cook until feathers gone and skin golden brown.
Rub with mallee (green) roots to remove quills.
Serve to old men and dogs, then the women and kids.
3 medium sized camels
1 ton pepper
200 bushels carrots
2 small rabbits
1 ton salt
500 bushels potatoes
3000 sprigs parsley
Cut camels into bite size pieces. This should take about two months. Cut vegetables into cubes (another two months).
Place meat in pan and cover with 1000 gallons of brown gravy. Simmer for 4 weeks.
Shovel in pepper and salt to taste.
When meat is tender, add vegetables. Simmer slowly for 4 weeks.
Garnish with parsley.
Will serve 3800 people. If more are expected, add two rabbits.